Crafty Shmafty

It’s been a crafty weekend at the Murray house.

I’m a writer for a reason. My inability to draw a straight line, thread a sewing machine or paint anything (but a beige wall) has forced me to rely on written communication to express my creativity. I have huge admiration for crafters. I ogle their scrapbooks, unique jewelry, homemade clothes and Martha Stewart style Halloween costumes. And don’t even get me started about Etsy. Before I am allowed to look at that site I have to freeze my credit cards inside a coffee can full of water and padlock the freezer door.

But when God was handing out crafting skills I was in the line labeled : “Tree Climbing/Dirt Clod Throwing.”

All I can say is that 115 degree heat and bored homebound kids can convince you to do the ill-advised.

“Mommy let’s make a ragdoll!”

Me: “Sounds easy enough. Let me go get the fabric scraps from when I spent 8 months working on the curtains and bedding for your room.”

I sold my sewing machine at our garage sale before we moved so I no longer had the best reason for drinking at 10am that a girl could ever own. The 1942 behemoth was impossible. The process to thread it took about 45 minutes and a post-doc in Physics.

Doing it by hand was probably easier, but not easy. Her limbs were skinny and trying to turn them right side out was very time consuming. Then getting them stuffed was problematic because the stitches kept popping and I had to patch them to the point that she ended up looking like I didn’t turn her inside out to do the seams.

Her hair was an adventure in itself. I had to go to JoAnne’s to get a yarn needle. These are scary looking.

But, alas, Sylvia the Resident Ragdoll is cute. Albeit, ugly-cute. Riley loves her and has fashioned some lovely dresses for her that she has designed herself.

The second craft project stems from being poor. We simply can’t spend much on anything these days. But kids have to go back to school with supplies and a few new things, shoes being one of them. Since their school supplies alone were a whopping $90 (at Walmart, imagine what it would have been from any other store…) we didn’t have much left over for clothes and shoes.

The shoes that both my girls wanted are “Twinkle Toes” by Sketchers. These are bejeweled sneakers that are stinkin’ pretty AND when you walk all the bling lights up!!! My 7 year old pointed these out to me in the store and I could instantly see why they wanted them. Plus Nickelodeon is marketing the crap out of them right now.

$40 a pair. Well, that’s just not happening. Not now. And, even if we make Gangsta money again, not ever.

Walmart is selling sweet knock-off Converse slip-ons for $7. So, a big “Value Multi-Pac” of rhinestones and a tube E-6000 glue and I’m all set to bling-out some sneakers for my squirrly girls. They are what I am trademarking “Blingkle Toes.”

I woke up this morning with a killer neck ache and I think I might need to have my eyeglass prescription rechecked, but even this “uncrafty” lady will do just about anything to help her little sweethearts feel pretty on their first day of school.

These are Riley’s… I’m planning Zebra stripes for my monkey-running, munchkin/Sherpa named Lydia. Wish me luck…You may need to have me committed to a mental institution after they’re done.